|
Thelma Deacon speaks to Sarah Vile, Labour councillor - Swanage Town Council. |
|
Thelma: Hello, we're into the second hour with me Thelma Deacon, and as I mentioned earlier, my guest today is Sarah Vile. Having been elected by Swanage residents to sit on Swanage Town Council in May this year, you sit on several committees and groups. So you've got planning community services personnel, public conveniences, and you're also on the environment working party and the Neighbourhood Sub Planning group. You're a council observer for Swanage Community Housing and Citizens Advice, and apart from that from council work, you're a deputy chair of a charity called Acts Fast, which support Non-abusive family members where there has been childhood sexual abuse, or where a partner has been accused of viewing indecent images of children and, being recently appointed to the Swanage Rotary Club's domestic abuse champion to help raise awareness of domestic abuse and support the club with potentially fundraising for local services.
Wow - Sarah, that's amazing, so if we go right back to the very beginning, would you like to tell me where you were born?
Sarah: I was born in London, in Tottenham, to be precise in 1973. I lived with my mum and dad in, actually, what I guess is now the infamous Broadwater Farm estate. But I was only there as a baby and then and then we left and and moved to Essex. So I am a Londoner, very proud to say that.
Thelma: Okay. Infamous Broadwater estate. Sorry, you have to inform me a bit more about that. What's been happening there?
Sarah: It was, I think, at the time my mum and dad got a flat there. It was brand new. It is still a very large local authority housing estate in Tottenham and it became sadly very well known. I think in the mid 80s, about 85, there were some terrible riots there. A police officer lost his life. And so it has that sort of negative connotation for for the for the unrest that happened in the 80s.
Thelma: Okay. Is that why the family moved away from there?
Sarah: I wouldn't dream of speaking for my parents, I think the family was growing and they were ready to leave London at that time.
Thelma: So did you start your schooling there or was it when you moved?
Sarah: No, I only lived there as a baby - we've moved around a lot actually. I went to school in Essex, and then I went to school in the Morecambe Bay area. Then we came to Dorset, and then after Dorset we moved to Scotland. So I've actually been to four senior schools.
Thelma: Wow. Okay. And the reason for moving around?
Sarah: Mainly my dad's job, a little bit of family chaos thrown in just for good measure. So there was a bit of a a bit of moving around over a couple of years. That was a little bit stressful, but yes in the main for my dad's job. We moved to Dorset because my dad was involved at Wytch Farm, he was the safety manager for, once the construction actually starts until it's built. And we were here in Swanage for two years, I did my GCSEs at Purbeck. I did my drama GCSE with the our famous thespian Brian Travers, and we lived on Kings Road West.
Thelma: Oh wow. That's marvellous. So you've had exposure to lots of different areas of the country which is is good to understand what's going on in different communities.
Sarah: Absolutely. I think I was always the new girl, so it does give me that sort of, I guess, confidence to be able to walk into a room and not really know what I'm expecting, but just sort of get on with it and try and be approachable. It has left me with sort of feeling of restlessness so my guilty pleasure is I'm always on RightMove having a little look and wherever we go, I think, oh, I wonder if we coul d live here? I don't really want to move from Swanage, but it is in me that sort of, 'is it time for a move' ? Do we need to move? The answer is no. We love it here.
Thelma: Good, good, good. We're glad to hear that. Because you have to commit yourself to so many years when you join the town council. And did that change this year?
Sarah: It's five years now. I think it was five before, but next time it will go back to four. I understand.
Thelma: Why did they increase the time?
Sarah: I don't know.
Thelma: I mean that's a bit off putting to some people isn't it? I mean if you're, you're sort of ageing, (you're not!) But if you are and you go over a certain age, I think that's slightly off-putting. But to be going back to four years again is an improvement I think.
Sarah: I think five years is a commitment, there's no doubt about that - you have to be ready for that commitment. I've worked in jobs that haven't been five years long and, so yes, I think it's really important if one is ever thinking about running to stand at the town council to really get a deep understanding of the amount of work involved, the committees, your obligation and your duty. If people have gone out and put a tick next to your name, you really owe it to everybody who did that to to to show up and be present and participate to the best of your ability for five years in this case.
Thelma: Absolutely agree with that, and I think if you are put in that position because, it's an unknown territory I imagine for most people what they're going to commit themselves to. If you do change your mind, if you do find it is, too much of a workload or too stressful or whatever, is there any way to turn to to get support?
Sarah: I would, if it was me, the first person I would turn to would be the town clerk. Doctor Martinez, I have a lot of respect for him and how how well he runs the council. So I would never hold those worries or stresses to myself. I would go and speak to him probably, and share my concerns. There might be measures that can be taken to alleviate some of that stress. I hope no one's in the position where they have to make a serious change. But if they do, then they should if it's in their best interests and the role is not tenable or they're not enjoying it, or their commitments change. That's life, isn't it? Really? At the end of the day, we can only we can only do our best.
Thelma: Absolutely. So you went to the local school and you studied drama? Now what was your favourite subject?
Sarah: Drama and Law, government and politics as well. They did a GCSE in that at the time. So my drama teacher, Mrs. Akers still lives in Swanage. I think I saw her yesterday in a shop.
Thelma: How fantastic. What an unusual combination of of subjects!
Sarah: You're right actually, although I think government is quite theatrical actually.
Thelma: Yes definitely.
Sarah: And being with people and having to put on a performance maybe on a certain evening you don't feel like standing up and talking to your committee, but you've just got to get on with it. So it's all in the mix, I think.
Thelma: So is that where your interest in politics arose?
Sarah: I was thinking about this question earlier and how best to answer it. I grew up in a household where politics was always sort of discussed, I don't think my parents were particularly political, but, I mean, I'm 51, so I grew up in the era of the coal miners strike and in Nelson Mandela being freed. Hillsborough disaster, Falklands war, Berlin Wall coming down. These are all sort of major historical events. I remember, that these subjects have been thought about and discussed as a family. Around the time that we moved to Swanage, I was starting to become, you know, very I had my anti-apartheid poster and I was asking my dad why he wasn't giving more money to charity. Really sort of finding my own voice, I think a little bit. So yes, I would say it all sort of kicked off around that time.
Thelma: And you went on to study it further, what did you do?
Sarah: Well, we then moved to Scotland, this was when I was 17. In Scotland, certainly at that time you did a year of Scottish Highers and then maybe another year before you went to uni. I'm afraid, Thelma, at this point I'd sort of reached the end of the road with all the moving and having to be the new girl so I did a year and then I left. My first job was in Boots the Chemist I'm very proud to say, absolutely nothing wrong with working hard and stacking shelves and getting to earn a bit of money and find out who you are. So, I sort of graduated eventually into sales recruitment sales, which is where a lot of people go who don't have many qualifications, but want to earn money and are quite good at talking to people. So I my career before I got into domestic abuse was very much in recruitment and I was very lucky and I got to grow with a particular company, become a director - I got to live in New York for a year and set up our North America team. So although I don't miss recruitment sales because it's hard work and you're only as good as your last month, and it was really educational and some of the best things that ever happened to me happened because of that work. So I'm very grateful.
Thelma: What part of New York did she live in?
Sarah: I lived in Manhattan. My first apartment was on 43rd and third.
Thelma: Were you married then?
Sarah: Very, very single!
Thelma: Flying backwards and forwards?
Sarah: Yeah. There was a little bit of that. I feel I had the whole New York experience. Cockroaches, rats, air-conditioning that didn't work! It was the hardest year of my life, my dad had just passed away and I was literally on a plane three weeks later. But it's the thing I'm most proud of outside of my marriage. It's the thing I'm most proud of because I did it, and I have the scars to prove it - and now I can say I'm a New Yorker because I lived there for a year.
Thelma: Fantastic. Yes I know exactly what you're talking about because I put myself through a similar thing, well, sort of. I'm from the Channel Islands, so I moved over here, (but not to that level). You make yourself do it, don't you? You know, you're very unhappy. Well, I was really unhappy at certain times, and it was a hurdle. It helps develop your character, survival, that's quite a thing isn't it? Well done Sarah. Still friends in New York?
Sarah: Not really as I was leaving, someone said to me, 'oh, you need to live in New York for five years before you make friends', and I thought, I haven't got that time!
Thelma: Exactly.
Sarah: So No, I we go back. We're back in September, actually, I love it. I feel like it's a part of me.
Thelma: Yes, good experience learning about American politics.
Sarah: Absolutely.
Thelma: How extreme? Yeah.
Sarah: Yeah. I don't really know what to say about that.
Thelma:
Sarah: You turn on the news every morning and now it's Elon Musk.
Thelma: Yes, yes.
Sarah: Just don't know what to say.
Thelma: It's totally unpredictable isn't it. It's a totally unstable situation over there. So over a period of time, who would you say is your most favorite politician or someone you would look up to and think, oh, you know, they did a great job. If I put you on the spot with that one.
Sarah: Sarah, that's a really good question. Well, I watched a documentary probably about a year ago where they interviewed Tony Blair and Gordon Brown together, but separately, if that makes sense, and and I remember thinking at the time, I didn't realise how much I was sort of personally in line with Gordon Brown's vision of how to serve others and look after people when they're in distress and invest in the welfare state. So retrospectively, I have a lot of admiration for him, but I do applaud anybody that puts themselves in that firing line of across the political spectrum of standing up and saying, I'll do my best to represent you. I won't always get it right. You may not agree with all of my views, but it's an enormous task, especially today with social media and the sort of sense of entitlement that people can say the most disgusting things, and that that somehow you just have to suck it up. So I really do admire anyone who wants to get involved.
Thelma: And not just that, these people who want to damage politicians is incredibly scary. So the amount of protection that the high level politicians now need must affect their privacy and enormously, so a huge undertaking. So how do you view Swanage as a community? That's quite a big one as well.
Sarah: It's a good one though. Well, whenever I find myself describing Swanage to people outside of our town, I find myself saying there's just something about it. There's just something about Swanage that makes it a little bit magical. And of course, we're blessed because we're thriving. We're a very friendly, I think, inclusive community. We don't seem to have suffered in the same way as a lot of other British seaside towns that are sort of destitute and very run down, but we we shouldn't forget that even though it's beautiful and in the main, everybody's friendly and helps each other out, and it's a really lovely place to live. We still have all of the all of them, all of the social problems that everyone else faces health, insecurity, poverty, domestic abuse, pressures on care homes. The hospital is constantly under threat. Everything that goes on might happen in a smaller scale. Crime, I must remember crime. You know, we're really worried, aren't we? I think as a community about the lack of police presence and what's going on now with the little police desk. There's a big question mark over that. It's very concerning. So we are blessed. But at the same time, I don't think any of us really thinks, 'oh, that means we don't have any problems', because we do. And one of my passions, if you like, on the council, is to think about, in particular for me, our lack of affordable housing. We have over 190 people on the housing need register. It's not Swanage's fault, but there are loopholes in the planning framework which mean that developers can say, 'Oh, well, we know we said we were going to build X number of affordable homes. We've changed our mind now we can't afford them - we're now only building Y'. My job, I think, is to vigorously challenge that where I can and try to think about ways where we can readjust that balance of housing inequality in Swanage.
Thelma: We have seen that happen and it makes people very, very angry. But yes, we are a bit cut off. And so that exacerbates some of the issues you're talking about. But we're an incredibly caring community. And it's ten years I came here next year, a very enlightened community for caring about others with the arts, music, poetry, acting, all sorts of different things, different groups that just spring up out of nowhere, which are really amazing. So people really do want to help each other here and I love that, it's very embracing. So apart from your council work, Sarah, you've got a role as a deputy chair for the charity Acts Fast. What does that do?
Sarah: Acts Fast is a Dorset based charity which does support clients nationwide, and their specialism is supporting non-abusive family members. When there has been something like childhood sexual abuse, or where someone in the family has been arrested and taken away for allegedly viewing indecent images. What we find, thankfully, in this country is that if you are the victim, which of course is deeply traumatic and life changing, there is a lot of support out there, which is great. We could always do with more support for anybody directly affected. But when it comes to if you imagine that, and I'm using gendered terms here, but forgive me, I want to preface this by saying that anyone can be a victim or a survivor of any type of abuse, and anyone could also be a perpetrator. But if you imagine a scenario where the police have come into your house at six in the morning unexpectedly, taken away your husband, seized and taken away all of the devices. This is the first you've heard of it. You've got two children and a dog and you're in the conservatory wondering, you know, what the hell is going on? You've got to think of the children going to school, mortgages to be paid.
Sarah: What about that holiday? What are you going to tell your parents? How are you going to cope? You are going to get a visit from children's social care as well, who are going to tell you that your job is to protect the children, and that your husband's not allowed back in the house until further notice. This is like a bomb going off in the family and currently, because if you like, mum is not the primary victim, for want of a better phrase. There's very little support out there for that non-abusive family member to be able to try to come to terms with what's happened, acknowledge their own feelings, which may be shock, grief, guilt, sadness, anger. You know, life changing and somehow hold the family together. Make sure that people eat and sleep and go to school and that there's food in the fridge. So Acts Fast, provides trauma informed support for the non-abusive parent or carer to help them come to terms with what's happened. Stay safe - get that support moving forward and be able to navigate whatever's going to happen next in that journey.
Thelma: Wow. Amazing. Tell me how you got involved with that Sarah.
Sarah: Well, I've been working in sort of domestic abuse sexual violence in the front line for about 15 years. When I got out of recruitment, I wanted to do something that was a little bit more about giving back and less about earning money. Although money's very nice, and I had always been very fascinated by the sort of hidden nature of domestic abuse. And I don't know if you ever watched EastEnders, but 20 years ago or something, there was a storyline with Little Mo and Trevor, and I was fascinated by how this lady could be in a very abusive and controlling relationship, surrounded by friends and family in Albert Square, and nobody had the first clue what was going on. So that sort of stuck with me. When I was thinking about what to do next, I decided to to give domestic abuse support a try. And I really felt a sort of click with that, it really seemed to work for me. So fast forward, when we moved to Dorset, I got my Masters in Social Work at BU, realised that social work is not for me, and became an independent sexual violence advisor. ISVA are specially trained to support people male, female, child, adult, anybody who's been affected by any sort of sexual assault. Especially if you've reported to the police and you may or may not be going to court. And that's a whole process of itself. We know that the conviction rates are very low.
Sarah: So is this especially trained to do that? This is a long winded answer. I am getting there, I promise. While I was at STARS, which is the Dorset and Sexual Trauma and Recovery Services, I met the lady who's now the CEO of Acts Fast and when she was looking for trustees, I jumped at the chance to get on board with her, to work with her and her therapy lead, Vicky, because they're great. They've got such a great not just client facing work, but they're very caring in terms of making sure that their staff and trustees and volunteers are are properly looked after, that the work doesn't become overwhelming, that you get proper support. So that's the sort of environment that I really support. If you look after your staff, they will be able to look after and support more people. So I'm currently sort of sitting in a deputy chair role, trying to write some training that will allow us to inform professionals out there how to better support people, that when you have gone through that door and you're faced with somebody who whose life is falling apart at that moment, that you're able to provide the best sort of trauma informed support you can. You can't change what's happening, but you can maybe make that shock and that journey a little easier to bear and make sure that they get some really good support moving forward.
Thelma: That's absolutely amazing. It's a tragedy for families to go through, and some families just never, ever recover, do they? Because it's just so shocking and sadly, on the increase or sadly, more cases are coming out, aren't they? And it's currently in the news about what's been going on.
Sarah: I think that you can never change the impact of traumatic events that have happened to you, what with the right support, you can maybe make that journey a little bit easier to navigate. You're right, some people are just never really able, through no fault of their own, to get back to what you and I would call a sort of basic, you know, normal, healthy way of functioning. But a lot are able to recover with understanding, counselling support, people believing them when they do come forward, which is an enormously brave thing to do at any age and say, this happened to me. So I think as a society, we are continuing to improve in that, and I hope that anybody listening to this who may have been affected and has never sought support or thinks that they didn't get the right support at the time when they did, do a Google of getting some support, look at Acts Fast, look at STARS, and come forward and get that support. If you think that you might be in need, you will be believed and you will be listened to.
Thelma: There are certain codes women can use now, aren't there? If they they've got a controlling partner and they haven't got the freedom to speak out. There are certain actions. Are there hand signals and different words that women can use? Is that right?
Sarah: There are, although it's really interesting you say this because today on the BBC news website there's an article that says that with the Ask for Angela campaign. People have gone undercover in some pubs in London and said, you know, and use that expression, and the people who are supposed to have been trained are not responding appropriately. It's useful to Google and learn the codes and the signs. But if you really feel that you need to talk to someone and it's just not safe or you're not able to do it, if nothing else, make an appointment with your GP and say that you need to see a nurse, and that you need a urine test. Go into that room, and if you're speaking to a professional, they should know the next steps of how to handle what you're saying safely. If you're really in that situation where it's not even safe to pick up the phone because your phone is being tracked, speak to a professional and you can do that by walking into perhaps a hospital or a doctor's setting to start with?
Thelma: Yes, actually, I've been in that situation when I worked as a practice nurse. A woman's come in and there's been certain signs and symptoms and try and open up a conversation. But it's not easy, is it? It's the fear that's the over controlling issue in those cases, isn't it?
Sarah: And you can't force somebody to leave or to take steps to think about what's going on and what they might need to change and until they're ready. When I first started my first job in domestic violence was on the Domestic Violence helpline in London, and I was doing my training and we were being shadowed on the phone and a lovely lady that I was also a newbie with. You know she wanted to do what was best, but she was saying on the phone, 'you've got to leave, you've got to leave'. And that's not that's not what it is, it's about giving guidance and support that if you if you ever decide to think about making that choice. There are safe options for you to do so, and you have to leave it with them unless there are children involved. You're right, it's about when someone's ready to come forward and say, 'I might need to talk to someone'. You want to hope that that person receiving that information knows how to support that person in that moment.
Thelma: Absolutely. Well, thank you for doing that, Sarah. That is a huge contribution to people's lives, and as well as that you work with the Rotary. What capacity?
Sarah: Well, I joined the Swanage Rotary probably Spring / Summer time this year. I thought that if I didn't get elected to the council, I didn't want that to be the end of my doing nice things for other people, and feeling like I wasn't part of a community who all felt the same way. And I've joined the Rotary and I really enjoy it. And it's a real strong team in Swanage, they do so much and they have a lot of fun as well. I've been made to feel very welcome, so I'll be volunteering on Santa's sleigh. I'm going to be at the Christmas market. You name it. It's great. So I get a lot out of it, yes.
Thelma: Okay. And so, what hobbies do you have if you can fit anything in?
Sarah: Well, I like spending time with my husband. My hubby, John is an A&E doctor at Dorset. So when we're home and he's offloading, his heavy day and I'm processing mine. We like to walk our dogs. We like to go to the cinema or go out for a curry and just do nice things together. And I also have two stepsons. They don't live in Swanage, but they've suddenly started having babies. So I have three granddaughters under the age of three. Oh, I skipped the hard part - I've just gone straight to being a fabulous grandma and spoiling everybody, which I love! So we see them as often as we can, and we have two dogs, two doodles, which we walk regularly. So for me, it's just about doing the best you can to help others, and then when it's your time, making the most of life. Today is a beautiful day I'm going to go for a lovely walk along the beach. You know? Why not?
Thelma: What have you achieved in the last six months at Swanage Town Council?
Sarah: Well, I managed to get elected and for every single person who came out on that rainy day in May and put their cross next to my name, thank you. It's been a fantastic opportunity for me. I really enjoy the work that I do on the council. I haven't done anything you know, life changing or transformational in my six months. I'm still quite a newbie, but I am trying really hard to learn the processes, learn the structure, understand how if I have a particular question, or if I'm representing a question that's been put to me by a member of the community, which committee do I speak to? What sort of supporting information should I be bringing to that, and how can I sort of engineer it that we end up as a group, as a committee or full Council. Thinking about this issue or thinking about this query with potentially considering making changes. So it's a really steep learning curve. But I was always up for that. The councillors and and everyone at the council has been extremely kind to me and patient. So I'm learning as I go. I'm trying to make a bit of a name for myself, I guess, as being somebody who is very approachable. Although I'm very passionate about affordable housing in Swanage for local people and key workers, I'm very much about addressing inequalities generally for our community and thinking about what we all need and what we should all really be entitled to as a sort of baseline of of wellbeing and being able to live safely. So my details, as are all the councillors, are on our councillor website. If anybody ever needs to have a chat with someone, please just give me a call or send me an email. I'd appreciate that.
Thelma: So Sarah Veale, your email is on the council website.
Sarah: So is my home address.
Thelma: Okay, and do you get lots of contacts?
Sarah: I get a few, and I always appreciate that because, if it's not convenient for me, if I'm in the cinema, then my phone will be turned off. If my phone is on and I'm able to answer, I will. You can always leave a message and I will always call you back.
Thelma: Okay, brilliant, and if you want to let us know anything on Purbeck Sounds, our text is 07849327777. Of course the agendas for the meetings now are on Swanage Town Council Facebook page.
Sarah: They are indeed. And we're having a bit of a zhuzh with our social media and website and everything else.
Thelma: I've noticed, that's great. So it's been really great having you here in the studio.
Sarah: Thank you so much.
Thelma: Thank you for coming, and anything you want to talk about in the future - just let us know.
Sarah: Thank you. Thelma.
Wow - Sarah, that's amazing, so if we go right back to the very beginning, would you like to tell me where you were born?
Sarah: I was born in London, in Tottenham, to be precise in 1973. I lived with my mum and dad in, actually, what I guess is now the infamous Broadwater Farm estate. But I was only there as a baby and then and then we left and and moved to Essex. So I am a Londoner, very proud to say that.
Thelma: Okay. Infamous Broadwater estate. Sorry, you have to inform me a bit more about that. What's been happening there?
Sarah: It was, I think, at the time my mum and dad got a flat there. It was brand new. It is still a very large local authority housing estate in Tottenham and it became sadly very well known. I think in the mid 80s, about 85, there were some terrible riots there. A police officer lost his life. And so it has that sort of negative connotation for for the for the unrest that happened in the 80s.
Thelma: Okay. Is that why the family moved away from there?
Sarah: I wouldn't dream of speaking for my parents, I think the family was growing and they were ready to leave London at that time.
Thelma: So did you start your schooling there or was it when you moved?
Sarah: No, I only lived there as a baby - we've moved around a lot actually. I went to school in Essex, and then I went to school in the Morecambe Bay area. Then we came to Dorset, and then after Dorset we moved to Scotland. So I've actually been to four senior schools.
Thelma: Wow. Okay. And the reason for moving around?
Sarah: Mainly my dad's job, a little bit of family chaos thrown in just for good measure. So there was a bit of a a bit of moving around over a couple of years. That was a little bit stressful, but yes in the main for my dad's job. We moved to Dorset because my dad was involved at Wytch Farm, he was the safety manager for, once the construction actually starts until it's built. And we were here in Swanage for two years, I did my GCSEs at Purbeck. I did my drama GCSE with the our famous thespian Brian Travers, and we lived on Kings Road West.
Thelma: Oh wow. That's marvellous. So you've had exposure to lots of different areas of the country which is is good to understand what's going on in different communities.
Sarah: Absolutely. I think I was always the new girl, so it does give me that sort of, I guess, confidence to be able to walk into a room and not really know what I'm expecting, but just sort of get on with it and try and be approachable. It has left me with sort of feeling of restlessness so my guilty pleasure is I'm always on RightMove having a little look and wherever we go, I think, oh, I wonder if we coul d live here? I don't really want to move from Swanage, but it is in me that sort of, 'is it time for a move' ? Do we need to move? The answer is no. We love it here.
Thelma: Good, good, good. We're glad to hear that. Because you have to commit yourself to so many years when you join the town council. And did that change this year?
Sarah: It's five years now. I think it was five before, but next time it will go back to four. I understand.
Thelma: Why did they increase the time?
Sarah: I don't know.
Thelma: I mean that's a bit off putting to some people isn't it? I mean if you're, you're sort of ageing, (you're not!) But if you are and you go over a certain age, I think that's slightly off-putting. But to be going back to four years again is an improvement I think.
Sarah: I think five years is a commitment, there's no doubt about that - you have to be ready for that commitment. I've worked in jobs that haven't been five years long and, so yes, I think it's really important if one is ever thinking about running to stand at the town council to really get a deep understanding of the amount of work involved, the committees, your obligation and your duty. If people have gone out and put a tick next to your name, you really owe it to everybody who did that to to to show up and be present and participate to the best of your ability for five years in this case.
Thelma: Absolutely agree with that, and I think if you are put in that position because, it's an unknown territory I imagine for most people what they're going to commit themselves to. If you do change your mind, if you do find it is, too much of a workload or too stressful or whatever, is there any way to turn to to get support?
Sarah: I would, if it was me, the first person I would turn to would be the town clerk. Doctor Martinez, I have a lot of respect for him and how how well he runs the council. So I would never hold those worries or stresses to myself. I would go and speak to him probably, and share my concerns. There might be measures that can be taken to alleviate some of that stress. I hope no one's in the position where they have to make a serious change. But if they do, then they should if it's in their best interests and the role is not tenable or they're not enjoying it, or their commitments change. That's life, isn't it? Really? At the end of the day, we can only we can only do our best.
Thelma: Absolutely. So you went to the local school and you studied drama? Now what was your favourite subject?
Sarah: Drama and Law, government and politics as well. They did a GCSE in that at the time. So my drama teacher, Mrs. Akers still lives in Swanage. I think I saw her yesterday in a shop.
Thelma: How fantastic. What an unusual combination of of subjects!
Sarah: You're right actually, although I think government is quite theatrical actually.
Thelma: Yes definitely.
Sarah: And being with people and having to put on a performance maybe on a certain evening you don't feel like standing up and talking to your committee, but you've just got to get on with it. So it's all in the mix, I think.
Thelma: So is that where your interest in politics arose?
Sarah: I was thinking about this question earlier and how best to answer it. I grew up in a household where politics was always sort of discussed, I don't think my parents were particularly political, but, I mean, I'm 51, so I grew up in the era of the coal miners strike and in Nelson Mandela being freed. Hillsborough disaster, Falklands war, Berlin Wall coming down. These are all sort of major historical events. I remember, that these subjects have been thought about and discussed as a family. Around the time that we moved to Swanage, I was starting to become, you know, very I had my anti-apartheid poster and I was asking my dad why he wasn't giving more money to charity. Really sort of finding my own voice, I think a little bit. So yes, I would say it all sort of kicked off around that time.
Thelma: And you went on to study it further, what did you do?
Sarah: Well, we then moved to Scotland, this was when I was 17. In Scotland, certainly at that time you did a year of Scottish Highers and then maybe another year before you went to uni. I'm afraid, Thelma, at this point I'd sort of reached the end of the road with all the moving and having to be the new girl so I did a year and then I left. My first job was in Boots the Chemist I'm very proud to say, absolutely nothing wrong with working hard and stacking shelves and getting to earn a bit of money and find out who you are. So, I sort of graduated eventually into sales recruitment sales, which is where a lot of people go who don't have many qualifications, but want to earn money and are quite good at talking to people. So I my career before I got into domestic abuse was very much in recruitment and I was very lucky and I got to grow with a particular company, become a director - I got to live in New York for a year and set up our North America team. So although I don't miss recruitment sales because it's hard work and you're only as good as your last month, and it was really educational and some of the best things that ever happened to me happened because of that work. So I'm very grateful.
Thelma: What part of New York did she live in?
Sarah: I lived in Manhattan. My first apartment was on 43rd and third.
Thelma: Were you married then?
Sarah: Very, very single!
Thelma: Flying backwards and forwards?
Sarah: Yeah. There was a little bit of that. I feel I had the whole New York experience. Cockroaches, rats, air-conditioning that didn't work! It was the hardest year of my life, my dad had just passed away and I was literally on a plane three weeks later. But it's the thing I'm most proud of outside of my marriage. It's the thing I'm most proud of because I did it, and I have the scars to prove it - and now I can say I'm a New Yorker because I lived there for a year.
Thelma: Fantastic. Yes I know exactly what you're talking about because I put myself through a similar thing, well, sort of. I'm from the Channel Islands, so I moved over here, (but not to that level). You make yourself do it, don't you? You know, you're very unhappy. Well, I was really unhappy at certain times, and it was a hurdle. It helps develop your character, survival, that's quite a thing isn't it? Well done Sarah. Still friends in New York?
Sarah: Not really as I was leaving, someone said to me, 'oh, you need to live in New York for five years before you make friends', and I thought, I haven't got that time!
Thelma: Exactly.
Sarah: So No, I we go back. We're back in September, actually, I love it. I feel like it's a part of me.
Thelma: Yes, good experience learning about American politics.
Sarah: Absolutely.
Thelma: How extreme? Yeah.
Sarah: Yeah. I don't really know what to say about that.
Thelma:
Sarah: You turn on the news every morning and now it's Elon Musk.
Thelma: Yes, yes.
Sarah: Just don't know what to say.
Thelma: It's totally unpredictable isn't it. It's a totally unstable situation over there. So over a period of time, who would you say is your most favorite politician or someone you would look up to and think, oh, you know, they did a great job. If I put you on the spot with that one.
Sarah: Sarah, that's a really good question. Well, I watched a documentary probably about a year ago where they interviewed Tony Blair and Gordon Brown together, but separately, if that makes sense, and and I remember thinking at the time, I didn't realise how much I was sort of personally in line with Gordon Brown's vision of how to serve others and look after people when they're in distress and invest in the welfare state. So retrospectively, I have a lot of admiration for him, but I do applaud anybody that puts themselves in that firing line of across the political spectrum of standing up and saying, I'll do my best to represent you. I won't always get it right. You may not agree with all of my views, but it's an enormous task, especially today with social media and the sort of sense of entitlement that people can say the most disgusting things, and that that somehow you just have to suck it up. So I really do admire anyone who wants to get involved.
Thelma: And not just that, these people who want to damage politicians is incredibly scary. So the amount of protection that the high level politicians now need must affect their privacy and enormously, so a huge undertaking. So how do you view Swanage as a community? That's quite a big one as well.
Sarah: It's a good one though. Well, whenever I find myself describing Swanage to people outside of our town, I find myself saying there's just something about it. There's just something about Swanage that makes it a little bit magical. And of course, we're blessed because we're thriving. We're a very friendly, I think, inclusive community. We don't seem to have suffered in the same way as a lot of other British seaside towns that are sort of destitute and very run down, but we we shouldn't forget that even though it's beautiful and in the main, everybody's friendly and helps each other out, and it's a really lovely place to live. We still have all of the all of them, all of the social problems that everyone else faces health, insecurity, poverty, domestic abuse, pressures on care homes. The hospital is constantly under threat. Everything that goes on might happen in a smaller scale. Crime, I must remember crime. You know, we're really worried, aren't we? I think as a community about the lack of police presence and what's going on now with the little police desk. There's a big question mark over that. It's very concerning. So we are blessed. But at the same time, I don't think any of us really thinks, 'oh, that means we don't have any problems', because we do. And one of my passions, if you like, on the council, is to think about, in particular for me, our lack of affordable housing. We have over 190 people on the housing need register. It's not Swanage's fault, but there are loopholes in the planning framework which mean that developers can say, 'Oh, well, we know we said we were going to build X number of affordable homes. We've changed our mind now we can't afford them - we're now only building Y'. My job, I think, is to vigorously challenge that where I can and try to think about ways where we can readjust that balance of housing inequality in Swanage.
Thelma: We have seen that happen and it makes people very, very angry. But yes, we are a bit cut off. And so that exacerbates some of the issues you're talking about. But we're an incredibly caring community. And it's ten years I came here next year, a very enlightened community for caring about others with the arts, music, poetry, acting, all sorts of different things, different groups that just spring up out of nowhere, which are really amazing. So people really do want to help each other here and I love that, it's very embracing. So apart from your council work, Sarah, you've got a role as a deputy chair for the charity Acts Fast. What does that do?
Sarah: Acts Fast is a Dorset based charity which does support clients nationwide, and their specialism is supporting non-abusive family members. When there has been something like childhood sexual abuse, or where someone in the family has been arrested and taken away for allegedly viewing indecent images. What we find, thankfully, in this country is that if you are the victim, which of course is deeply traumatic and life changing, there is a lot of support out there, which is great. We could always do with more support for anybody directly affected. But when it comes to if you imagine that, and I'm using gendered terms here, but forgive me, I want to preface this by saying that anyone can be a victim or a survivor of any type of abuse, and anyone could also be a perpetrator. But if you imagine a scenario where the police have come into your house at six in the morning unexpectedly, taken away your husband, seized and taken away all of the devices. This is the first you've heard of it. You've got two children and a dog and you're in the conservatory wondering, you know, what the hell is going on? You've got to think of the children going to school, mortgages to be paid.
Sarah: What about that holiday? What are you going to tell your parents? How are you going to cope? You are going to get a visit from children's social care as well, who are going to tell you that your job is to protect the children, and that your husband's not allowed back in the house until further notice. This is like a bomb going off in the family and currently, because if you like, mum is not the primary victim, for want of a better phrase. There's very little support out there for that non-abusive family member to be able to try to come to terms with what's happened, acknowledge their own feelings, which may be shock, grief, guilt, sadness, anger. You know, life changing and somehow hold the family together. Make sure that people eat and sleep and go to school and that there's food in the fridge. So Acts Fast, provides trauma informed support for the non-abusive parent or carer to help them come to terms with what's happened. Stay safe - get that support moving forward and be able to navigate whatever's going to happen next in that journey.
Thelma: Wow. Amazing. Tell me how you got involved with that Sarah.
Sarah: Well, I've been working in sort of domestic abuse sexual violence in the front line for about 15 years. When I got out of recruitment, I wanted to do something that was a little bit more about giving back and less about earning money. Although money's very nice, and I had always been very fascinated by the sort of hidden nature of domestic abuse. And I don't know if you ever watched EastEnders, but 20 years ago or something, there was a storyline with Little Mo and Trevor, and I was fascinated by how this lady could be in a very abusive and controlling relationship, surrounded by friends and family in Albert Square, and nobody had the first clue what was going on. So that sort of stuck with me. When I was thinking about what to do next, I decided to to give domestic abuse support a try. And I really felt a sort of click with that, it really seemed to work for me. So fast forward, when we moved to Dorset, I got my Masters in Social Work at BU, realised that social work is not for me, and became an independent sexual violence advisor. ISVA are specially trained to support people male, female, child, adult, anybody who's been affected by any sort of sexual assault. Especially if you've reported to the police and you may or may not be going to court. And that's a whole process of itself. We know that the conviction rates are very low.
Sarah: So is this especially trained to do that? This is a long winded answer. I am getting there, I promise. While I was at STARS, which is the Dorset and Sexual Trauma and Recovery Services, I met the lady who's now the CEO of Acts Fast and when she was looking for trustees, I jumped at the chance to get on board with her, to work with her and her therapy lead, Vicky, because they're great. They've got such a great not just client facing work, but they're very caring in terms of making sure that their staff and trustees and volunteers are are properly looked after, that the work doesn't become overwhelming, that you get proper support. So that's the sort of environment that I really support. If you look after your staff, they will be able to look after and support more people. So I'm currently sort of sitting in a deputy chair role, trying to write some training that will allow us to inform professionals out there how to better support people, that when you have gone through that door and you're faced with somebody who whose life is falling apart at that moment, that you're able to provide the best sort of trauma informed support you can. You can't change what's happening, but you can maybe make that shock and that journey a little easier to bear and make sure that they get some really good support moving forward.
Thelma: That's absolutely amazing. It's a tragedy for families to go through, and some families just never, ever recover, do they? Because it's just so shocking and sadly, on the increase or sadly, more cases are coming out, aren't they? And it's currently in the news about what's been going on.
Sarah: I think that you can never change the impact of traumatic events that have happened to you, what with the right support, you can maybe make that journey a little bit easier to navigate. You're right, some people are just never really able, through no fault of their own, to get back to what you and I would call a sort of basic, you know, normal, healthy way of functioning. But a lot are able to recover with understanding, counselling support, people believing them when they do come forward, which is an enormously brave thing to do at any age and say, this happened to me. So I think as a society, we are continuing to improve in that, and I hope that anybody listening to this who may have been affected and has never sought support or thinks that they didn't get the right support at the time when they did, do a Google of getting some support, look at Acts Fast, look at STARS, and come forward and get that support. If you think that you might be in need, you will be believed and you will be listened to.
Thelma: There are certain codes women can use now, aren't there? If they they've got a controlling partner and they haven't got the freedom to speak out. There are certain actions. Are there hand signals and different words that women can use? Is that right?
Sarah: There are, although it's really interesting you say this because today on the BBC news website there's an article that says that with the Ask for Angela campaign. People have gone undercover in some pubs in London and said, you know, and use that expression, and the people who are supposed to have been trained are not responding appropriately. It's useful to Google and learn the codes and the signs. But if you really feel that you need to talk to someone and it's just not safe or you're not able to do it, if nothing else, make an appointment with your GP and say that you need to see a nurse, and that you need a urine test. Go into that room, and if you're speaking to a professional, they should know the next steps of how to handle what you're saying safely. If you're really in that situation where it's not even safe to pick up the phone because your phone is being tracked, speak to a professional and you can do that by walking into perhaps a hospital or a doctor's setting to start with?
Thelma: Yes, actually, I've been in that situation when I worked as a practice nurse. A woman's come in and there's been certain signs and symptoms and try and open up a conversation. But it's not easy, is it? It's the fear that's the over controlling issue in those cases, isn't it?
Sarah: And you can't force somebody to leave or to take steps to think about what's going on and what they might need to change and until they're ready. When I first started my first job in domestic violence was on the Domestic Violence helpline in London, and I was doing my training and we were being shadowed on the phone and a lovely lady that I was also a newbie with. You know she wanted to do what was best, but she was saying on the phone, 'you've got to leave, you've got to leave'. And that's not that's not what it is, it's about giving guidance and support that if you if you ever decide to think about making that choice. There are safe options for you to do so, and you have to leave it with them unless there are children involved. You're right, it's about when someone's ready to come forward and say, 'I might need to talk to someone'. You want to hope that that person receiving that information knows how to support that person in that moment.
Thelma: Absolutely. Well, thank you for doing that, Sarah. That is a huge contribution to people's lives, and as well as that you work with the Rotary. What capacity?
Sarah: Well, I joined the Swanage Rotary probably Spring / Summer time this year. I thought that if I didn't get elected to the council, I didn't want that to be the end of my doing nice things for other people, and feeling like I wasn't part of a community who all felt the same way. And I've joined the Rotary and I really enjoy it. And it's a real strong team in Swanage, they do so much and they have a lot of fun as well. I've been made to feel very welcome, so I'll be volunteering on Santa's sleigh. I'm going to be at the Christmas market. You name it. It's great. So I get a lot out of it, yes.
Thelma: Okay. And so, what hobbies do you have if you can fit anything in?
Sarah: Well, I like spending time with my husband. My hubby, John is an A&E doctor at Dorset. So when we're home and he's offloading, his heavy day and I'm processing mine. We like to walk our dogs. We like to go to the cinema or go out for a curry and just do nice things together. And I also have two stepsons. They don't live in Swanage, but they've suddenly started having babies. So I have three granddaughters under the age of three. Oh, I skipped the hard part - I've just gone straight to being a fabulous grandma and spoiling everybody, which I love! So we see them as often as we can, and we have two dogs, two doodles, which we walk regularly. So for me, it's just about doing the best you can to help others, and then when it's your time, making the most of life. Today is a beautiful day I'm going to go for a lovely walk along the beach. You know? Why not?
Thelma: What have you achieved in the last six months at Swanage Town Council?
Sarah: Well, I managed to get elected and for every single person who came out on that rainy day in May and put their cross next to my name, thank you. It's been a fantastic opportunity for me. I really enjoy the work that I do on the council. I haven't done anything you know, life changing or transformational in my six months. I'm still quite a newbie, but I am trying really hard to learn the processes, learn the structure, understand how if I have a particular question, or if I'm representing a question that's been put to me by a member of the community, which committee do I speak to? What sort of supporting information should I be bringing to that, and how can I sort of engineer it that we end up as a group, as a committee or full Council. Thinking about this issue or thinking about this query with potentially considering making changes. So it's a really steep learning curve. But I was always up for that. The councillors and and everyone at the council has been extremely kind to me and patient. So I'm learning as I go. I'm trying to make a bit of a name for myself, I guess, as being somebody who is very approachable. Although I'm very passionate about affordable housing in Swanage for local people and key workers, I'm very much about addressing inequalities generally for our community and thinking about what we all need and what we should all really be entitled to as a sort of baseline of of wellbeing and being able to live safely. So my details, as are all the councillors, are on our councillor website. If anybody ever needs to have a chat with someone, please just give me a call or send me an email. I'd appreciate that.
Thelma: So Sarah Veale, your email is on the council website.
Sarah: So is my home address.
Thelma: Okay, and do you get lots of contacts?
Sarah: I get a few, and I always appreciate that because, if it's not convenient for me, if I'm in the cinema, then my phone will be turned off. If my phone is on and I'm able to answer, I will. You can always leave a message and I will always call you back.
Thelma: Okay, brilliant, and if you want to let us know anything on Purbeck Sounds, our text is 07849327777. Of course the agendas for the meetings now are on Swanage Town Council Facebook page.
Sarah: They are indeed. And we're having a bit of a zhuzh with our social media and website and everything else.
Thelma: I've noticed, that's great. So it's been really great having you here in the studio.
Sarah: Thank you so much.
Thelma: Thank you for coming, and anything you want to talk about in the future - just let us know.
Sarah: Thank you. Thelma.
The Verbatim project is supported by Purbeck Broadercasting.
Copyright Purbeck Sounds Ltd. No unauthorised copying or usage permitted
Copyright Purbeck Sounds Ltd. No unauthorised copying or usage permitted